Goodbye, Oreo

My family had a very difficult day last Friday. We put our dog, Oreo, to sleep after fifteen years with us. My daugher, Kaitlyn, wrote about this on her Facebook page. Since only her Facebook friends are able to read it directly there, I wanted to share what she wrote here:

Anybody seen the movie Marley & Me? I bet most of you have. I cried so hard at the end of the movie…(well, I cry in every movie), but this was a heart-breaking, cry your eyes out until you think you've soaked your t-shirt all the way through movie…I never thought I would experience it.

Nobody wants to go through that.

Maybe you're reading this and you know what I'm talking about because you've been through it before. Maybe you've had a dog or a cat or another pet that you have had to put down. You've experienced that grief of losing something you love dearly. It's hard. I now know, it's more than just hard, it's…painfully hard. Something you have to go through in order to have that knowledge of just how HARD it is.

I'm going to tell you a little about that experience I had today.

Today is December 4th. It's extremely cold out, and there is just a little snow on the ground. Our appointment was at eleven o'clock this morning. Everybody in my family wanted to be there when it happened. But when I got in the car and looked back at my dog, a white and black fluffy ball sitting hunched over on her red plaid blanket, I wasn't so sure I wanted to be there. I thought I might get sick for a minute. But I knew this was important. I had to be there. This was something I wasn't going to forget.

Because, of course, Oreo was my first and only dog I had ever had. Ever.

For those of you who didn't know her, my dog was Oreo, a 15 year old black-and-white border collie/cocker spaniel mix. She was named for the white stripe down the middle of her black head. She had spots on her nose and the rest of her body. She even had a little black mustache! :) My parents got Oreo a year before I was born. So I have NEVER lived a day of my life without her. I have never had another pet (or even wanted one, I don't think) besides Oreo. (Okay, well, my sisters both have some fish but they aren't MY fish. I don't even really like fish. So Oreo was my only pet.)

We have so many pictures to remember her by. We have baby pictures of me and Oreo; Oreo laying down on the floor next to me, her head on my blanket; Oreo and me sitting in the backyard; Oreo looking out the window next to me, or peeking over the crib at me. She was very protective over me. She was my best friend, always at my side.

I know (perhaps) I wasn't always the nicest to her. I remember chasing her around the kitchen table in Hudson with a bow in my had, trying to tie it around her. I think I chased her around about five times before she bit me. And it wasn't that hard, either. Just a warning. She's never been a mean dog, it's not her in her character to bite anyone. One time, she bit my little sister (and she really deserved it) but then felt so bad she sat beside her as she cried while my mom bandaged her thumb.

She loved squirrels. She loved to chase after them, and she even caught one once! (She let it go though.) She loved playing ball, and had a little squeaky soccer ball she'd play with. Tennis balls, too. But these things didn't interest her that much as she got older. She couldn't see so well, and I can't remember the last time we tried to point out a squirrel and she didn't recognize it. Also when she was younger, my dad would wrestle with her until she started to chase her tail and run up and down the house, making us LAUGH like crazy! She was so funny…

The car ride over to the hospital was one of the hardest things for all of us.

I was already crying, but I knew it was going to get worse. Sitting in that small little room, all crowded around the dog, petting her and crying. The poor thing didn't know what was the matter with all of us. They explained what they were going to do, and I knew all of it before it happened. But, knowing something and experiencing something are two different things. I had heard about this before.

They give her a shot so she will become very sleepy…

Oreo never liked shots. Well, who does? She yelped and then kinda sat down. Then she sank down to the floor and was very still. Peaceful. We petted her some more. And then it was time.

They give her one more shot into the bloodstream…

I honestly don't know if there really is a dog heaven. But I hope so. I stood there and looked at her, limp on the counter, and stroked her fur. She had the softest fur…

She had a pretty strong heart. It was still beating! I could see her chest rising and falling…slowly, very slowly, but still at work. The shot wasn't working. So…they had to give her another one, more direct…

Then she was asleep.

Gone.

There was no life in her eyes. But I knew she had a good life, and was a great gift to us. Thank God for animals, right? I knew this was "the right thing to do"…and that she would no longer be in pain. She would no longer have to be carried up and down the stairs. Her teeth wouldn't hurt anymore. She would be just fine. I just kept thinking, over and over, "sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same". But did it have to be this hard?

Maybe you've never had a dog. But let me tell you, they aren't kidding when they say "dog is man's best friend". A dog will listen to you when you're down. A dog will let you put your arms around his neck and and cry into his fur, and he won't even tell a single soul when you whisper to him that you ate the last cookie. A dog will look into your eyes and you know, without words, that he will love you forever. That he will stay by your side. Even if you yell at him and tell him he's got the worst breath ever (see, you insult him!) he doesn't care. In fact, he'll wag his tail and lick your toes until you really don't care if his breath stinks.

But my dog, my dog was so special to me…I told you I had never lived a day without her. So at the exact moment she stopped breathing, I knew my life was going to be different. My life was already changing enough…and now my dog had to leave me…

I felt like I lost a chunk of my heart…